- out of character
Remember guys lets do some research and solve this job this one wont be as easy a the first do your research learn what this is and how to kill it and type that into your job. Good luck and happy hunting hunters!
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Job #2 charlottes web
Ok guys this mission is a bit out of the ordinary... As if our jobs are normal... So this job comes to us from Boston. There have been reports of a thick sticky web like string going from building to building, but we are not janitors that's not what caught my attention but what did was the fact the there was a man found in a deserted alley behind a bar in what seemed to be a web cocoon. He had been eaten on like a bug caught in a web. Lets get on this mission guys 5 men have been reported missing after going to the clubs.
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I walk calmly in the darkness whose silence is being destroyed by the shrieks of a being trapped in the middle of the room. As I calmly finish my incantation I reach into my pocket to pull out a lighter. Just when the demon is cast out of the now turmoiled soul i throw the lighter at his feet. " have fun in hell fucker!" I say as I walk away. My uncle does not like this of me, but the guy was a convicted murderer he got what he deserved. I walk outside of the house to see a not so busy street of Salt Lake City. As I walk along, I grab a newspaper and go to a diner and sit down. As I sip on my hot cocoa (which I have an odd fascination with) I read an article of bizarre things going on in the world. I scan thoroughly looking for my next job. Then I see it! I grab my phone and make a phone call. "Hello?" The person says on the other line. I reply, "How knowledgeable are you on your Greco-Roman mythology of Arachne man?" In a playful way knowing that if what I am thinking is true, im going to need all the help I can get.
ReplyDelete-Out of character
ReplyDeleteCongrats Dan you got the job get your team together and head up to bean town
I answer the phone and his tone is playful yet stern. " hey man that thing aint no joke... It must be killed by beheading. The thing is like a spider-man on crack... It's got super human strength, speed, endurance, and agility not to mention it's webbing is tougher than bat shit! That thing is gonna be a bitch! Yea I saw the news report. Do you need me to come save your ass?"
ReplyDelete"Haha" I laugh out loud. "No man, apparently u need to lay off the booze a lil. It's in Boston, just where I know you so happen to be! This time, im your back up. Ill be there in 2 1/2 days man! Stay alive untill then." I hang up the phone and walk outside to my Oldsmobile start it up and begin my drive to Boston.
ReplyDeleteI hate Boston... This town is not my cup of tea... I'm staying at the hotel closest to the body found in a cocoon. I remembered that most of these missing men went missing after going to a local club right down the street and with my brother at the crime scene dressed up like a bad stand in off csi, I get to go to the club and drink beer till I find a spider man or woman please God let it be a spider woman...
ReplyDeleteSo I head down to the club, at 25 I'm the oldest person here. All these people are about 21 to 21 and there is no grey area... I'm shunned... I am not an ugly dude just an older dude... Shit... I walk over to the bar "what do u want?" The bartender was a bit rude to a laying customer but out of respect and not wanting spit in my beer I reply " just a coors light please, what's the deal around here why does everyone look so young?" The bartender looks at me with a puzzled look on her face. " you must be from out of town..." " is it that obvious?" " well here lately the guys that were over 22 have been disappearing out of here. You are a brave soul!" " that's what I've been told." I reply softly then put the beer to my lips and turn to look at the dance floor it could be anyone or no one here I really need something to go off of... I look at my phone finally Brandon text me with some good news... I hope
As I pull up to the so called "crime scene" where the dead body was seen I check in my rear view to see if I had been tailed by the cops...of course I had,I can never catch a fucking break. I step out of the STI, not the best car to act like csi in, and greet the unmarked car with a smirk and subtle wave of my hand. Hopefully charm and flattery will help this windbreaker jacket peice of shit disguise pass. The headlights of the car turn off, two men inside...great, and the driver steps out first.
ReplyDelete"What are you doing in this alleyway kid?" He says with a weary hand on his glock. "I'm from csi and I was just checking to see if the others missed anything when they were here to pick up that cacoon thing." I replied closing the distance between us slowly (even the odds with a gun a bit), hands raised (Not to high or you look suspicious dumb ass).
"We already cleaned the whole place. Nothin' to find in there but trash." The officer was speaking calmly. Did this diguise actually work. Jason is no costume artist, but shit a kid playing dress up could have done better.
"Well I guess I have trash to sift through. Don't worry though I can search alone I'm a big boy." I said with a chuckle.
His reply caught me off gaurd, "I bet you are," with a wink...fucking charm "enjoy your night now and if you need ANYTHING just call the station and ask for Bill. You know the number I'm sure."
"Yup sure do, thanks Bill. See ya later." Hopefully not though.
The headlights reappeared then vanished into the bustling traffic on the road.
He was right, there was only trashin this alley. A dumpster to be exact. As I hopped in I noticed a Wal-Mart bag filled with tattered women's clothes. Slutty club clothes to be exact. Weird because the victim was a man....
*text to jason* beware of young females seeking older males. I'm on the way.* Damn could that have sounded any more like an eharmony add...
Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw... That's just about every single female in here but I guess none of them are headed my way. I turn back around then ask the bartender for another coors light. She slides me a bottle and then pours two glasses of top shelf whiskey. "It's in the house." She says with a slight smile. " thanks it's been a rough past couple weeks." I reply and don't know why I even opened up a conversation. " if you don't mid me prying, what do you do for employment? I mean there's no way you came in a raptor with that leather jacket on off a manager of kinkos paycheck." She was referring to my truck that I had to let the valet park which I hate doing bc I'm a grown man I can park my own vehicle and my Roland sands ronin leather jacket. I used it on my motorcycles and it's warm bc Boston had a horrible chill this time of night. " I am an exterminator, I take care of big bugs and rodents. It's not as sexy as what u expected and I guarantee it doesn't pay nearly what u think it does." " that's ok I wasn't really that interested anyway I just want what's under the jacket!" Finally Brandon always gets chicks in every town I mean I don't do bad but not nearly as many as him. She is super attractive and she's down... Wait! I know what's going on here... I set the glass of whiskey down and get off the stool and push away from the bar my heads spinning I can't get my feet planted I don't have the rat5 bc security made me leave it in the truck. Fuck this blows man I gotta get away, at least u tip Brandon gets here. This spider bitch just roofied me... Fuck... I'm stumbling all over myself... Fuck maintain composure if I'm too drunk the bouncers toss me and she gets me if she catches me she gets me... Brandon's not too far from here and Stoller should roll up any second I just hope someone gets me outta here I look back at the bar the bartenders gone. I'm blacking out an someone's gotta get me outta here!
ReplyDelete"Driving, almost seems like its a full time job. Going from one side of the US to the other." I say as I have finally arrived in Boston. "Damn GPS!" Im referring to the GPS Jason and Brandon got me for Easter cause im (how did they put it) low tech. This thing has me going in circles looking for a damn bar ' Obrians'. I reach down to my pocket to grab a cigg and put it to my lips and go to light it with my lucky lighter. Just when I hit my first drag... SCREEECH (my brakes sound) as I slam on them with all my strength. I stop just in time to barely hit a person stumbling out of an alley way!! I jump out, ready for anything at this point, and approach the being. When I get closer to the point im not blinded by my cigarette smoke anymore, I see him. I rush over and check his pulse and vitals. "Still alive! Looks like he's drugged!" I say out loud! I grab him and throw his limp body into the backseat of my Oldsmobile. I start to drive knowing what needs to be done, I grab my phone. "Hello?" He says on the other line. "Dude, Brandon I have Jason he's been drugged!"
ReplyDelete"Has anybody seen you?" I reply to Dan in a calm manner. No need to make him more worried. "I don't believe so. I yelled outside a minute ago." He told me. Fuck. "Throw his ass back out and get your car out of there. We need some bait anyways, and I'll be there in about 30 seconds." Thats being optimistic...
ReplyDelete"BAIT!" I exclaim. Hmm... I do what he asks i pull into an alley and turn off my vehicle. "Well I guess it's time to spring a trap" I get out and go to my trunk where I grab my usual weapons than I quickly browse through grabbing some additional gear that will be helpful in this situation. I go to open the back door and grab Jason using a fireman carry. While running to a remote spot i pull Jason's phone out of his pocket and call Brandon. As soon as I hear a ring back i ditch the phone next to a lonely garbage can (knowing that this will be the easiest way for Brandon to track our whereabouts. I then slump Jason onto the ground in a way that looks naturally drugged. "Don't worry buddy, im not going to leave you hanging." I say to him in just a whisper; as I pull out a thing of adrenaline and plunge it into his body. I do this knowing that the creature hunting him will sence his faster beating heart easier and also giving him a better chance to flush out the drugs. I race behind a nearby dumpster just in time to see the hideous beast climbing down the fire escape just above his now twitching body. Her deathlike face drips with the essence of poison meant to numb her newest victim.
ReplyDeleteJust when she gets close enough to her victim, I make my move. I rush out now behind her, turning her attention to me, when I pop a flare to blind her giving me my chance. I grab my katana and swiftly chop at one of her 8 grotesque legs. She shrieks as the ground is now being filled with the sight of her green insides pouring out. Then with god-like speed she leaps up and begins her retreat. "Oh no you don't you bitch!" I yell as I reach out with a grappling hook and shoot. Direct shot right to the Thorax. She jitters but continues her route to anywhere but here. "Oh FUUUCK!!" I scream, as I hold on with all my strength not knowing where this bitch will lead me!
I jump out of my car around the corner from where Jason's phone signal had led me. I look in the backseat, grab a p22 and strap both of my kukri to the small of my back. It might be a small gun, but that doesnt matter when you hit the right spot. I begin to sneak around the corner to see if Jason is laying like bait still, and I am greeted with a loud "FUCK!" Echoing out of the alley. I rush over to see Dan being hauled up a building by his grapling hook stuck in the ass of that creature.
ReplyDeleteI fire three shots at her as fast as I could. to my luck, one of her legs buckles, and she loses her footing. Dan falls like a rag doll onto one of the platforms of a fire escape while the beast flails in the air reaching for one of the railings.
By this time I have made my way over to where Jason was laying. I could see him starting to come too. Must have been an adrenaline shot. I shove him with my foot "get up dude you are way to fucking to big for me to move." No reply, then I look up "SHIT!"
The spider stops abruptly about 2 feet above my head. Thank god Dan mush have held on to the grappling hook that strong bastard. Just as the thought passed through my head that bitch spit in my face. Fuck that's gross! I done with this and I scream out "blunch bloo bletsoroom!" And now my face is paralyzed...sweet
Laying in the ground I must be fucking out still bc now me proper is mumbling as I begin to focus my eyes I see brand fall to his ass right next to me his face looks in pain and glazed with some light green shit. "Bro I hope u know u just got a facial by spider woman. " I stand on my feet look up and the Arachne is flailing in the air trying to climb up a, grappling hook? What the fuck is going on here I'm unconcious for like 10 minutes and now were the deadliest catch? I'm still not 100% but these guys need me.
ReplyDeleteThe Arachne rips the hook from her thorax and her venom spills onto the ground then she crashes to the deck after it. I move Brandon behind his car idk what's on his face we will have to figure it out later. As I side step the car I grab her attention, great the one guy who was just drugged by a spider bitch and has exactly 0 weapons is now targeted.
I notice a kukri lying on the ground directly beneath the beast. Her eyes narrow, she squats down preparing to rush. Fuck it, I sprint towards this thing. She begins her charge I slide underneath her through her trail of venom and entrails. I grab the blade then realize she was not after me. One of her legs pushed Brandon's car out of the way smashing it into the only dumpster in the alley.
"Fuck no you don't!" I am in a dead sprint now my brother depends on me. Her legs thrusting down towards Brandon's face, I leap and swing the kukri at the mid joint if the appendage. It comes clean off. Sorry bud but your new clothes just got covered in, whatever the fuck this is... Now that I have her attention perfect time for either my brother to Helen Keller this bitch or where the hell did Dan go?
Im in complete agony and pain, being tossed around like a fucking rag doll. I have just enough strength to hold this bitch from slicing into my friends with her fangs. Then it happens, she spins around with such force and speed, that I am now flying in the air like goddamn superman! I land on top of an old sattelite in top of one of the roofs.
ReplyDeleteAs I try to get up i notice with a stinging pain that my shoulder is dislocated. "Well if Mel Gibson can do it so can I!" I go up to a nearby chimney and with all my strength i plunge my shoulder into it. "Ahhhhh!! That hurt like a mother fucker!!" But I'll be ok. I don't have time to stand around. I rush forward to the edge if the rooftop to see Jason and Brandon getting thrown around the alleyway; they are finding chances to chop at her legs weakining her more and more. I pull out my .40 cal glock and send 3 well aimed shots whose back is now facing me in attemp to plunge at Brandon's body laying in a corner swinging a single kutri blindly. Direct hits! 1 round hits what looks like her giant ass, the other 2 however hit directly at the back if her neck. She stumbles down to the ground, and I see Jason plunge in the air towards her with a blades weapon. "That bitch is fucking done!" But something is telling me its bit over. I rush over to the other side of the rooftop to take a look. "Oh my god, it makes so much sence from up high." While looking down you can see webbing lashing out in a trail pattern leading all to one specific point. A warehouse building 2 buildings away from the club/bar where this whole night started!
With Brandon still down and out and Dan MIA. I'm gonna kill this bitch all by my lonesome.
ReplyDeleteShe lunges at me I dive and roll to the left once I rise up I jump at her swinging the kukri down toward her neck. She thwarts me away with a tree trunk she called a leg! I know it broke a rib it had to or at least cracked it I was sent hurling backward into the brick wall. It hurt worse than when you see it in movies and not near as cool. Anything I can do to keep her focus off Brandon. I raise up with all my strength, " oh baby don't be such a bitch..." She rushes me one leg sweeps low and another strikes me across the face I'm slammed on the ground. The concrete broke my fall no worries. At this point I feel like it can't get worse... Oh and that rib... It's sooo broken right now. She picks me up leans in so were face to face, I can still smell the whiskey on her breath. "Too bad, I was going to make you my mate. Now you will just be dinner like the rest of the unworthy male humans in this place!" I reply, in hindsight I shouldn't have but I did, "ya see cunt that's why we wouldn't have worked out bc I'm a hunter and your well your a psycho spider bitch!" Yep that was the straw that broke the camels back. Remember the platform Dan fell on? I just got to hit it from the bottom doing about 50... Then to top it off went straight on to not into the dumpster then collapsed onto the ground, no worries concrete to break my fall again. "Why don't you just die already?" She screamed. "Honey I ask myself that question five hits ago. I'm just stubborn I guess..." I'm covered in blood some hers, alot mine I can barely see out of one eye, broken rib and cut to shit, please tell me it gets better than this...
I can't feel my face. Now I understand lil wayne...what the fuck am I doing!? I can hear someone getting the shit beat out of them but I can barely see and its getting worse. I can still make out shapes, fuzzy though, and few colors.
ReplyDeleteI stagger back to my feet with kukri in hand and see a giant blob throwin a smaller blob around. "...stubborn I guess..." yup thats jason. I think I remember him saying we needed to cut off the head to kill her. Well I need to find it.
"Hey beautiful I would love for you to wisper some of that pillow talk in my ear." I say as I motion towards my face with one hand and grip my blade harder with the other.
Here she comes... I think. Then in no time I am tracked off of my feet like I was hit by Ray Lewis. Then I hear the sexiest voice I have ever heard wisper to me"like this? " Now I've got you bitch "hell yeah just like that!"
As I hear a hissing noise begin by my left ear I bring the kukri in my right hand as hard and fast as I could b straight to where her neck should be. Hit. I had to have decapitated her with that one... I hope.
I rush to the building that I saw earlier. I can smell the stench of rot from outside the door where I go through my gear real quick. I lost my mags and my katana in the alleyway when I was playing fucking Superman earlier. "Fuck it! I still have some rounds left and good ol 'Betty' still" (Betty is my custom made baton made from iron and electrocutes with an extending sharp point). I extend 'Betty' with my left hand and hold the glock in my right as I kick open the damn door. 'THUD' the door is open i rush in to clear the building (utilizing 'Betty' as a flashlight). I look anxiously waiting for something to lunge at me.... But nothing! I continue my search now looking more extensively. This place is filled with everything u would expect from a damn human spider! Webs and filth every where.
ReplyDeleteThan i see them! Cacoons! Everywhere! I take a closer look at one of them and realize there is a human trapped in it! And he is ALIVE!
I push myself up forcing my feet under me. I wanted to just stay down with everything in me. Just stubborn I guess, I begin to walk over to the huge mass laying in top of my little brother the extremely attractive face of the bartender wa looking up at me from the side of Brandon's car. This was over it was all over. I walk up beside the beasts body and kick it as hard as I can. "Get the hell up ray Charles!" My brother starts to wiggle himself out from underneath the huge spider body. "My eyes are burning and this bitch may have given me something bc she was a dirty dirty girl and u almost took her back to our place didn't you?" Brandon still had a sense of humor, maybe it would be just as funny if I let him walk back to the hotel.
ReplyDeleteI look around this alley was a mess before we got here and the only change is now Brandon's totaled car and a 10 ft spider chick... We gotta burn her and the head as to not let the general populace know such things exist. We pile the beast up in the dumpster using Brandon's beat to shit car and some chains from his truck as makeshift pulley and anchor. We set her body ablaze then Brandon looks into the eyes of the face mutters something then tosses the head in..
Fuck it's been a long night I want to walk back in that bar and drink more beer but doubt is make it past security at this point. I look around and dans still no where to be found. Of course that low tech son if a bitch wouldn't have his phone in him, but we killed the Arachne so he is probably off somewhere drinking away his sorrows or licking his wounds he will show up like he always does back at the roadhouse. Ill call again in the morning I'm barely alive right now and couldn't handle a choice between fries or onion rings right now... Dan you better make it back to the roadhouse....
I grab 'Betty' and cut open the cacoon. The man piles out coughing and spitting out green shit. I grab him by the shoulder. "You allright?" "Caugh caugh yeah im ok what happened?" He says as he stumbles onto his feet. "You don't want to know!" I reply. Than we continue to free the cacoons; all men at least the age of 23.
ReplyDeleteJust when we set loose the last man i disappear. Knowing that I've overstayed my welcome and did my job. I return to the alleyway and notice a burning pile of shit in a nearby dumpster. "Good job guys!" I say to myself. I find my kitana and get in my car and drive off. "We'll if they aren't there that means they are safe!" I smile, knowing that I will meet up with them soon on another mission...doing god knows what!!!